#VoteSA 2014

VoteSA

Kudos to the IEC, had a smooth election process today. All political parties that were at the polling station were seating at the gate of the church (was the same last time I came here to vote). I was with mom, whose mobility is unfortunately impaired; after a few minutes of standing in the queue she called me, saying the IEC people will allow me to vote so she doesn’t have to wait for me.

I hope all other polling stations will have a turbulence-free process 🙂 Happy Election Day SA, remember; go out there and vote!

Church Hopping Canada

Today something reminded me that in everything that happens, I still don’t believe in coincidences. I made peace with not going church hopping in the US, I can always do it at other times. An alternative that I did not think of though is going church hopping in Canada.

Spatially, it’s different to the US in the sense that the province that I’ll be in doesn’t have a lot of towns/cities, and I’ll already be in the capital, which isn’t huge itself. Other places to likely visit might be French states, and far away to go on a Saturday/Sunday in winter. So I started looking on the Internet to see the churches that the city has, and I believe I’ll have enough to keep me hopping around for most of the 10 Sundays there.

So, with that said, I’m officially going to start planning for Church Hopping Canada 2014!

Nightmares!

I can’t sleep, I don’t want to sleep. For the past few days I’ve been having nightmares, the most recent one was this morning. There’s really three weird things about these nightmares, firstly being that I can’t force myself to wake up from them, secondly that instead of waking up frightened, I wake up saddened, and lastly that I just can’t recall anything about the nightmare when I wake up.

I have a lot on my mind, yes, I always have a lot on my mind.

I have a lot on my mind, yes, I always have a lot on my mind. If I don’t have a lot on my mind, something is wrong, so having a lot on my mind right now isn’t the problem. I do, however, have a lot on my plate. I’ve been trying to gain weight, so I have to have a lot on my plate. So since it’s currently good to have a lot on my plate, that can’t be the problem.

I am however in the process of solving an interesting but sad puzzle, it’s been giving me some of my nightmares. So I’ve been doing a lot more reading and researching, but tonight, I found something interesting! Sort of a jackpot that’s been rolling over for months on end.  I don’t know if I should call it interesting or just shocking.

There’s a lot that one can learn by stopping and observing how other people behave.

n order to learn a lot, you have to put things in context, behaviour, time, significant events etc. So now instead of having a few pieces to a small puzzle, I have more pieces to a larger puzzle. Though I write a lot of what’s on my mind on paper, this now bigger puzzle is to be kept in my innermost, where childhood monsters once lived, where My Keeper lives.

It’s a secret I can neither keep nor share, but I must do something about it, so I will do neither of the two, a third option. There’s always a third option!
I always believed that every person has a hidden side, two sides to a coin, right? Yes! Two sides to a coin. It made sense, we get to see the side that you want us to see, unless we take charge and toss the coin ourselves. Though it makes sense, I didn’t see that my puzzle might not be a coin, a third side?

There’s always a third option!

Yes, indeed, a third side. It was hiding right in the open. You puzzle you! You turned your face around and hid right in front of my eyes, but I have found you out. Your third side, I never knew it existed. What shall we say you have? A three-sided coin? Surely my analogy is now clouded with my new-found confusion.

I still can’t sleep, my nightmare has woken with me, and is now in my conscious mind. Surely if I were a cat I would be done for! I can’t stop the curiousity. Can I coexist with my nightmare in my waking moments? Surely such is an absurd imagination …
Wait, imagination! It might make sense, what if this is all a figment of my imagination? But surely I can’t think that, I ruled it out, and as the puzzle stares me in the eye saying “solve me, solve me!” I am faced with a dilemma, do I solve (or rather attempt to) it, or do I let it unravel itself?

Time! We need time to let it unravel itself. We need time alone to think things through, but surely we’ve had enough such time? No, we always use time yet we always consider how we do not have it. It is always running out, we’re not remaining in our youth, we are decaying, losing our youth to time. We surely have to say what we always say, we do not have time! Does this mean that we have to solve the puzzle since we can’t let it unravel itself?

No! Have we not been learning? There is a third option, there is always a third option, it’s not a coin, even a coin can choose to stand and not fall on a side. But a coin can only do that under the right and perfect circumstances. Something must hold it still, as in its nature it will always fall on a side. So does that mean that something is forcing our puzzle’s hand towards the third option? Is our puzzle still a coin? This is confusing, why did we choose a coin?

Fine, have your way then. No more coins, just options. I’ve considered two options, but now I must look for the third option. It won’t be an ‘aha!’ moment though, my third option is the hardest. My third option is the nightmare that I have blocked out of my mind. My nightmare is an option, it might even be the option. I can only explore it by facing it. I can only explore them by facing them. Am I scared? No, I am petrified! I never thought I’d consider this option, but my puzzle must be solved, no matter what the cost is.

The thing with costs is that they appear to be two-sided, but they too have a third side. The side of no cost. In the side of no cost, both of us don’t care what we lose. We don’t count what we gain. We are freed from the burden. Why carry such a burden when we were once given a promise written in pure blood? He surely said “my yoke is easy and my burden is light”. So why carry mine own burden when there is a lighter one? Why fight my nightmare, walking as a man tossed around by the wind, wondering what happened, what is happening and what will happen? Does one on the face of the Earth know such answers?

Surely they come and profess to know the answers. Men of flesh as us, men who fall as us, who are as weak and wretched as us. Why ought we trust in man, forsaking He who created him, along with all things including those which we cannot fathom. What do these mere men of flesh possess? Is it great insight, deeper than the stars that were born and have died but still resonate in the time continuum? Is it the bravery and the trait of a king of the jungle? Even the king falls, for the jungle is not his alone.

I once looked upon the mirror, and I saw what I am. I since forgot what I am, but now I remember that just as these men, I too am made of flesh, I too fall. Yet there is one being who is not mortified in me, his name is pride. He walks with an axe, chopping all my roots, burning all branches that grow within me. Surely he is the enemy! We must fight him with all we have, with all it takes.

As I see, so I am.

How can I fight what I see, who I am? I can’t do it on my own, I need help to conquer my nightmare. Else I might boast in mine own strength, being blinded by folly and self-deceit, opening mine self up to an intrusion of sevenfold such demons, legion for they are many.
Just as the men of flesh, so too I am. I am evil at heart, filled with ill intent. I cannot help myself. My Defender once pleaded my insanity, I forgot that I still know not what I am doing. He called me to himself for my healing and sanctification. He saved me, and he said that he would neither leave nor forsake me. How true his words are at this moment!

I failed a thousand times, yet His mercy remained.

I failed a thousand times, yet His mercy remained. He raised me up each of those thousand times, and this time He raises me up to face my nightmare. The air around me is full of malice, deceit, ill-intent. I ought call upon My Redeemer who lives, and ask for redemption from my nightmare. The elders said “resist the devil and he will flee from you“. The devil, my nightmare is the devil, and surely it shall flee, as I shall resist it.

I shall be liberated from my nightmare, I shall sleep and wake, as I continue to call upon My Helper.

Microsoft Office 2013 Nightmare

Microsoft is really screwing up with this ‘cloud’ thing. Ever since I installed Windows 8 over a year ago, I’ve been slowly growing frustrated with Microsoft’s offerings, especially their cloud services (yup, SkyDrive or whatever they’ve been forced to rename it to).

I’m using Office 2013, and it’s quite fantastic {especially Excel), except for one irritating thing, their crappy Office Web Apps:

I edit a document with Office Web Apps, and it firstly doesn’t sync with SkyDrive, then I can’t open the document, period!

I’m getting to the point where a lot of my Excel stuff just doesn’t work when I get home and try to continue where I left off. Don’t get me started with the Android app that I’m paying R90 bucks a month so I can have on my device(s).

I’m sleepy, and frustrated, so I just need some place to let some steam off. In the weekend, I’m going to go into a lot of detail on my disappointment with Microsoft of late. Oh, and I’m still on Windows 8, can’t upgrade to 8.1 cos of some unuser-friendly error that keeps downloading 3.4GBs of rubbish to only tell me that setup has failed.

Microsoft better take a leaf out of Linux’s book when they release their next Windows version, cos I’m just tired of this.

Habits die Hard

Tonight I decided to whip out my work laptop to join a Google Hangout (this is one of the most awesome communication tools out there, once you get used to it), I put the laptop next to my PC, and my brain immediately started behaving as if I’m on multiple monitors.

I kept swinging stuff across the screens with my mouse and trackpad, so frustrating cos after a few seconds of not seeing the cursor moving on the other monitor, I’d realise that I’m working on two separate devices. I have a blind spot for mouse cursors (read, I’m kinda blind), so I always have to swing/toggle the mouse around to find its position, so I tend to go into a micro-panic before I realise that the mouse is moving on the other monitor.

Completely random story, but because I deliberately shut myself off Twitter and Facebook, this was the next best place to come post my nonsense of the day 🙂

I’m a Fat Kid

A few weeks ago I was complaining about how skinny I was, and I resolved to gain 10kg by end of November. Since then I’ve been watching what I eat (making sure that I eat), my mom came back for a few weeks, and I’m being spoilt with food at work. Tonight I realised how heavy I feel, and my arms no longer show much of my skeletal features.

It’s official, I’m a fat kid now.

I didn’t get a chance to buy the weight scale, so I won’t know my progress, but I an definitely on the rise.