If the Vapour Does Not Vanish

It’s always nice to make medium-term plans and goals, but as wisdom would contend; tomorrow is an unknown until it becomes today. The apostle James cautions us against boasting about tomorrow:

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. – James 4:13-14

Prelude

This, being my personal space, has always been a place where I can talk about things that bother me; things that I ordinarily wouldn’t converse about with anyone, so if you’ve found yourself reading this, and you’re not into reading about strangers, you could save yourself the time by not reading further :).

 

My Church-hopping Dream

I had really would have loved to have gone church-hopping around the US earlier this year, but that didn’t really happen. Instead of a work contract in the US, I ended up going to Canada. In retrospect, if you were to ask me whether I’d choose the US if I had the choice; I’d probably abstain from the choice. I don’t believe in coincidence, and as unhappy as I initially was about my allocation; I grew content and acknowledged that I believe in a God who has a purpose for my life; that nothing is a coincidence in this life.

I also met and made friends whom I’m hopefully will remain in contact for as long as possible. One other thing that my plans hinged on was being able to save up for all the flights and buses travelling around. To be honest, when I was in Canada, I was broke most of the time, and had a bad experience as a result of that. I was lucky to be with a friend at that time, because I wouldn’t have survived alone.

Perhaps being where I’ve dreamed of going to, and yet being unable to travel as I had desired, would have broken my heart. I thank The Lord that even if I don’t get what I want, He still provides for what I need.t

On the Present

I’ll admit that I’ve become too absorbed in work and my projects that the time that I devote to my daily reading of the Word, and other devout deeds, has been at the danger of being insufficient.

A friend bought me the New King James version Bible, which I’ve always wanted. I intended on reading it in a year, but I’ve fallen behind over the months. I’m embarrassed to say how far I am, but I can still complete reading it if I up my current pace. My friend keeps saying that I’m being hard on myself, but for someone who’s lived life as a renegade of sorts; it’s important that I read, hear and pray more often, that I don’t fade away in things of this life.

One of the things that I’ll acknowledge running the risk of, is that of being proud and boastful. My project https://rwt.to is nearing the beginning of production; and another related project is also coming close to seeing light-of-day. To get to where I am now, has been a tough lengthy struggle. My routine at some point was to frustrate myself all weekend, and go cry out to The Lord on Sunday evening church, asking for strength to continue working on rwt-to.

For a person who walks away from things easily, it’s not by my own will that I’ve come this far. It’s a testimony I guess, that some of the things that got me through were solutions that I dreamt of when all my wit had failed me.

We Suffered; We Persevered; We Succeeded; We Forgot our Help

We often forget where we come from after we survive tough times. I currently sense that I’m at that point where I might forget my struggles if my venture succeeds. This is really a reminder for myself that I didn’t get where I am now by my works, because by such standards I would have given up a year ago.

On the Future

Though we can’t boast about tomorrow, James says that:

Instead you ought say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that”. – James 4:15

An unplanned life is a life without purpose. If I choose to go about living each day without goals for the future, I could end up finding myself in the same place after a number of years. So, if the Lord wills, I hope that I shall live to do this or that, being:

Studies

I wanted to register for a BSc. degree this year, and I’m still keen on seeing it through. From a career perspective, it makes sense that I do something else. I don’t know what the future holds, and whether I have the will to carry through such ambition. I’m also conflicted on whether I can adjust my lifestyle to accommodate studying.

Bethel and Passion

I still want to see my dream through and visit Redding and Atlanta in the near future. Going to Redding would make it convenient to also go visit Silicon Valley, seeing as it’s central to all our start-up dreams. If it would be possible, I’d like to attend one of the Passion conferences, probably in Atlanta.
Both require a lot of finances, and logically the best thing is to find a few non-essential expenses to cut off, so that I can start saving up for the possible trip back to the US. Passion conferences are normally in January, so 2016 is the most logical estimate to save up for.

If the Lord wills, that the vapour that is my life does not vanish, I’d like and hope to save up to be able to go to Atlanta and Redding in 2016.